im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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