i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
