shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
