I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
