please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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