the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
