she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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