Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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