The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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