Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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