Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
