addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
