In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
