I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
