in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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