just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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