just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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