He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
