She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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