Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
