guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
