Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
