do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize