If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am available for nakedness
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
