Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
