I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
