OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
