I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
