When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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