I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
