So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
