So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
