i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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