Three words: puerto rican gang bang
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
