Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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