you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
