...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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