4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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