Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
