i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
