so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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