Kiss
Puke
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
