I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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