So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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