I just saw a hot homeless man
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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