some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is my gift to your gina
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize