We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
A+ Viking dick
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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