I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
