I want to walk on stilts...naked
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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