I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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