That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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