well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
