she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
