this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
