someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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