I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You left your underwear on the fireplace
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
