Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize