He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
