Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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