Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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