Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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