when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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